So, let us say that I am you. You will double check to make sure the event is when you think it is. Sometimes this means calling the store; sometimes this means checking their website. Note I said their website, not Maggie's. Because the store is the final answer on all event times and sometimes Maggie posts these things to her site very late and she is also slightly dyslexic.
Anyway, so you check the event and you arrive at the store a little early to get parking. No matter how early you are, someone will be earlier. There will be chairs in the event area and this early person will be sitting in one of them with lots of books and you will be friends. Look, there she is, your new friend.
You'll have a bit of time, so now would be a good time to buy at least one book from the store. The bookstores don't get paid anything to host author events and they are a lot of trouble, so I ask (nicely, now) that you pay them back for this by buying at least one book there. I'd prefer it was one of mine but if you have all of mine already, you can buy someone else's instead (some stores won't let you do this, but most do).
Sometime before the event, my best friend Tessa Gratton and I will pull up in this.
I mean, hopefully. It's possible it will have broken down and we won't appear until much later. Or it's possible we will show up in a tow truck or in a rented Honda Accord. But the plan is to show up in (Blue)Loki.
You will be able to recognize us when we come into the store because we will have bad, frizzy hair from having the windows down. Also, Tessa might be looking angrily at me because she didn't reckon on how loud Loki is as a form of transportation. Also she might be tired at eating at Chipotle, which is the only national chain without preservatives, which I'm allergic to. Also she might be tired of my taste in music, because most people can only listen to Que Onda Guero so many times through without puking. But I am not one of those people.
After the bookstore introduces me and everyone takes a seat, I will proceed to do this for about 15 minutes.
Then I'll open the floor for questions. I love this part the best. I tend to get side-tracked, easily, however, and may end up just telling stories about Bulgaria unless you are very stern with me.
I may or may not give away fun prizes at this point. If you're at one of the stores where we're giving away a guitar, this will be the point that that happens. This also may be the point where, if you are at the launch party, Sulaiman Azimi begins singing "Summer Girl."
Then the bookstore will assemble everyone into a line. It may be quite long, and I'm sorry for that. I suggest you make more friends with the people to your front and rear.
People have asked about multiple books and yes, I'm okay with multiple books. I will sign the faerie books and ARCs and Nooks. But not body parts. Also, I will not sign other authors' books. Also, I will only sign clean clothing. People ask about wolf doodles, and I like doing them, but I can only do them if there's not a huge long line.
When you get to the front of the line and I'm smiling up at you with hope and anticipation, there tends to be an awkward pause where both of us forget how to speak. I always like to hear about which book is your favorite or which part you liked or didn't like, and if you have a question you didn't want to shout out, this is a good place to ask it. And if you could tell me who you want me to sign the book too, that helps too (often bookstores will have you jot your name down on a post-it note so I don't have to ask how to spell it). Also if you want to give me a mix CD, I love mix CDs.
And then, yes, you can do this!
I will ask that if you do want a photo with me, please turn the flash off. I don't mean to sound high maintenance, it's just that they've started triggering migraines after an hour of them or so. Those make me lay on my face, and I don't like laying on my face.
Anyway, that is it! Ultimately, you'll end up with a signed book, several new friends, and hopefully a few hours of laughing. I'm revoltingly excited to get started.
